[Time passes]

Time has passed, cuing that scene in the Harry Potter movies where the seasons change from fall to winter to spring with nothing of significance happening in the plot except Hedwig flying across the courtyard. Only in our plot, loads has happened, which accounts for the blog hiatus. I’ve thought about writing many times, but never got around to actually posting. I have a few things I want to write about, but I’ll ease myself in with hit list.
• I wonder how much environmental impact it would have if we started doing little things like not using straws and using mugs instead of paper cups at work.
• Indiana Jones was amusing but definitely not a big-screen must. If you haven’t seen Iron Man, see it. Robert Downey Jr. was made for this.
• I’ve been watching a lot of home design shows. This has two effects: 1. I want a house more than ever and 2. I am increasingly unhappy with how the apartment looks. I can save you hours, days, weeks and even months of watching HGTV by giving you The Secret to all these shows. The Secret is ...ready?... get rid of the clutter. It’s true. Watch any design show. Even if you don’t like the style of the new room, it looks a million times better than the original because there is simply less crud messing it up. Use this knowledge wisely. It may have cost me dearly to divulge it to you. Design on a Dime probably just put a hit out on me.
• Things I love today: photo booth pictures, walks in the woods, birds (especially owls), rainy days at the end of August, grass under my bare feet and mom’s Shredded Wheat bread.

Stuffed

The gifting season is here, gaining speed like Casey Jones and that runaway train, on the wrong track and headed for you. So put down the cocaine and lets have a civilized discussion about this.

JP sent NYM a link to The Story of Stuff. I've sent it out to some people. It is definitely worth the 20+ minutes of your life. But for the time-challenged, here's the gist: We have been trained to consume, almost at all costs. This consumption-to-trash lifestyle is damaging the planet and people, including ourselves. Solution: Buy less, consume less.

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

So where does that leave us during this time of giving? Give less? Give nothing? Become Scrooge? This is the quandry I find myself in as I tool through Borders, judging whether items are worthy of the people I love. Do we really need more stuff? And why do we depend on stuff to say "I care about you"? Or to make us feel better? How do we break this hold stuff has on us?

One thing is for sure, we can't do it alone. It has to be a decision supported by those near and dear to us. It has to be OK to say "Let's not consume more stuff." A coworker of mine suggested a step-by-step program, such as starting by giving only handmade gifts. I think this sounds swell and I wish I had thought of it earlier. Oh well. There's always next year!

Until next time, wishing you the gift of joy. And sanity.

An Insufferable Truth

Really alarming news on the rat front, comrades. Apparently they have extended their axis of evil to encompass global warming as an ally.

This from the New York Times, teller of truths:

... a recent stretch of warm winters has reduced the proportion of the rodent population that would normally be eliminated each year by the cold.

The time to fight may be close at hand. I hope you are prepared.

The rat that was circling André Thomas’s feet was big and brazen, measuring more than a foot from the tip of its tail to a pointed snout that arched upward to the aroma of Mr. Thomas’s ham and cheese sandwich.

Good God! Read more of the horror:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/10/nyregion/10rats.html

Until next time, stay far, far away from City Hall!

Fairly Young Woman In Front of the Milk Cooler in a Big City

So my New Year's resolution this year was to try to live a more environmentally-friendly life. When I started out, it was pretty overwhelming. But the resolution was meant to be empowering, not debilitating. So it was onward toward that far-away goal of green, one small step at a time.

I shopped at Whole Foods and bought as much organic as I could. I reused bags. My carbon footprint was already pretty small compared to non-city folk, thanks to the MTA. As our light bulbs blew, we replaced them with the eco-friendly ones. Instead of throwing things out, I gave them away on craigslist. And I became pretty vigilant about recycling (G has the scars to prove it).

But there are many grey areas to green. Case in point, tonight I found myself in front of the milk cooler pondering whether to buy the new brand of organic fat free milk or stick with the Stonyfield organic, even though I'd have to buy 2% because that is all they had. So what should be my priority here? My arteries, which probably don't need 2% fat? The price? The cuteness of the cows featured on the packaging? Honestly, I don't know. But here is how I made the decision: I rolled the cartons onto their sides to see where they were from. Fat-free was California-based. Stonyfield is New Hampshire-based. So I picked Stonyfield, since it probably didn't travel as far, and therefore produced less carbon. Cholesterol be damned.

Until next time, green like you mean it!

Welcome to the Pit of Ultimate Darkness. Please wipe your feet on the mat.

Good evening, and welcome to the Pit of Ultimate Darkness. Tonight we delve deep into the most sinister, dark, hardly-ever-Swiffered corners of my demented mind to unveil my most recent acts of ... EVIL!

Monday I told G I was going to do the rest of the dishes Tuesday. But I didn't. Evvvil!

Yesterday when I was watching v. important TV (read: Twitches Too) and the DVR asked if I wanted to record South Park, I said no. Eviiil!

Sometimes I sneak dried onion into the food while I'm cooking so G won't know there are onions in it. Eeeeevil!

Often when I should be blogging, I am watching Brotherhood 2.0 on You Tube instead. Evvvil!

And, finally, today I ripped off Kevin MacDonald and Dave Foley. And I didn't even do a very good job of it. Evil!

Until next time, do not avoid the puppies of purgatory! Oh, and ...

NYM’s Top 10 Halloween Movies

The Halloween spirit has been haunting me for a few weeks now, urging me to do things such as disembowel pumpkins, devour Reese's peanut butter cups, scorch pumpkin seeds and watch any and every non-slasher Halloween on TV—mostly on the Disney Channel. This has had the unfortunate result of watching films such as ... Mom's Got A Date With A Vampire (which really wasn't all that bad). This has also led to repeated viewings of Halloweentown, Halloweentown II and Return to Halloweentown. Somehow I've missed Halloweentown High. Even now, as I write this, I am watching Twitches Too. If you don't know what this means, you're probably better off.

In watching all this fabulous made-for-TV-ness, I've begun longing for certain frightful films, wishing they were part of our DVD collection and scanning the cable listings for them. Alas, I've only found Jack Skellington among my many harrowing heros. But for general consumption this Eve of All Hallow's Eve I give you (trick or perhaps treat) my top 10 Halloween movies. (There's a comments section at the end of this post, so feel free to add on. The criteria: movies cannot be slasher/gore flicks; movies preferably have moments of the funny; movies hold up to repeated viewings.)

10. Arsenic and Old Lace: Mix one part Cary Grant, one part Frank Capra and a healthy helping of a Brooklyn Halloween story. Ha ha ha, I'm the son of a sea-cook!
9. Army of Darkness: The greatest thing Bruce Campbell has ever done. This includes The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. (which were awesome), Xena, Hercules and all the Old Spice commercials.
8. Shaun of the Dead: Generally, I am not a fan of zombies. But this movie KILLS!
7. Beetlejuice: Tim Burton is the King of Halloween. End graf, pick up agate.
6. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: The list wouldn't be complete without a visit to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Pumpkin juice anyone? (For a kick-ass butterbeer recipe, email me.)
5. The Lost Boys: Both Coreys and Kiefer Sutherland—it's everything that was great about the ’80s that wasn't called "The Goonies."
4. Practical Magic: Here's to sisterhood! With magic! Plus, I totally want that house.
3. Sleepy Hollow: Johnny Depp is soooooo full of awesome. Also, please refer to No. 7.
2. Rocky Horror Picture Show: Ah. I remember the very first time I watched Rocky Horror. It was in the living room. With my Dad. I'm comforted to know he was as uncomfortable with the situation as I was. Nonetheless, Time Warps, mad scientists, monsters brought to life, spooky butlers, this movie has it all. I see you shiver with antici ...
1. The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King comes calling every year about this time. I cannot resist his adorable little skull and boney little fingers. And, of course, see No. 7.

Until tomorrow, everyone hail to the Pumpkin Song! La la la la ...

The dress hunt

You can never truly be prepared for the rite of the dress hunt. You can study all the forms your prey can take: mermaid, A-line, ball gown, sheath, cocktail, empire, pants suit, suit. You can memorize designers, how many points they have and where to track them. You can plan every last detail, from your tree stand to your 400 square inches of hunting orange. But you'll never know if you are woman enough until you stare that saleswoman in the face and tell her you're not spending any more than two grand on a damn dress you are going to wear for one day in April.

I admit, I hit some low lows while on the trail of the elusive wedding dress. To pass down my hard-earned wisdom and empower my fellow huntresses, I give you my NYC bridal rundown.

NEVER GO TO KLEINFELD. THEY ARE AWFUL PEOPLE WHO PROBABLY EAT BABIES.
Don't go to Kleinfeld if you are a reasonable individual who is not going to spend at least $3,000 (they would prefer more) on a gown. I told them $2,000 and they pretty much shoved me in a closet. Actually, they did shove me in a closet. I was allowed six dresses and, here's the kicker, sent to the back closet to pick them off the rack myself. This is not that kind of store. I was so insulted I almost walked out. The only thing keeping me there was the fact that they had my credit card number and might have charged me for not keeping my appointment. I was in tears—tears— when I left. I called G and told him I could not do this anymore. Later, I met another bride Kleinfeld had made cry. So I'm telling you, they don't deserve your business, even if you are going to drop the operating budget of a small country on your dress. Support the sisterhood and diss Kleinfeld.

FOR THE BRIDE WHO WANTS TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO, I point you in the direction of the overenthusiastic saleswoman of Designer Loft. She thinks she knows what you want better than you do, even if you have shown up to specifically try on one dress. And don't be surprised if that dress is a size 24 and you are not and you were not told it was that size before you took the time and effort to show up at the store. Yes, I got to try on the dress. Not that I was able to tell much from it. The woman helping me in and out of dresses was great. The saleswoman was manic. She wanted me to try on a drop-waist dress (I looked awful in it and the dresser laughed and agreed with me). She told me I was young and flirty and the dress I wanted to try on was for more "mature" brides. Then she told me the dress would be $1,500, plus $425 for alterations. But she did let me pick a few things out of the closet on my own. And she was friendly, if overbearing. Then again, she was going to fleece me on the dress.

FOR THE BRIDE ON A BUDGET, I can recommend RK Bridal. They had a pretty good collection, even if it wasn't in the greatest condition. They do keep the dresses in bags, but when you have that many people going through a store, there is wear and tear. The saleswoman was really sweet and helpful. They always lay it on thick, but she listened to what I was saying about the dress I liked. In fact, she convinced me to order it even though I wasn't able to try it on in my size(ish) anywhere. She had me try on other dresses by the same maker so I would know what the cut would be like and she assured me that I wouldn't get any surprises from the designer. For the record, my dress would have been $810 at RK. But they charge a flat rate for alterations of $350. So maybe you'd want to get it altered elsewhere? I don't know if they allow that. Eh.

FOR ANY BRIDE WHO WANTS TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT, I recommend with all my heart Wedding Atelier. Carrie, who owns the store, is fantastic. She runs an extremely clean shop and only the saleswomen touch the gowns, so they are all in great condition. When you come in they ask you to take off your shoes and offer you paper slippers. They say it enhances the spa atmosphere, and it does, but it also keeps all that New York City dirt off the floors, and thus, off the dresses. After the Kleinfeld fiasco I was afraid to tell Carrie my real budget, so we tried on dresses in the $3,000-$5,000 range. During the course of our conversation, I learned that she'll happily work within any budget, so I felt bad that I hadn't been more honest with her. By this time I had pretty much decided to order my dress from a shop in Connecticut (final price $850 and an estimated $150 for alterations) so I sort of knew that I wasn't going to get my dress at Wedding Atelier. Since I had to leave my credit card number for the appointment, I figured I might as well keep it. I am so glad I did. It reaffirmed my faith in the sisterhood and in good business. Carrie listened to everything I had to say and found a few lovely gowns for me to try. Then at the end, she asked me if I would try on one for her, even though it was the kind of gown I wasn't really interested in (mermaid, structured, strapless). I said sure and it was awesome. The gown was $4,200, so buying it was out of the question, but it really did look foxy on me. Carrie was able to find something unexpected for me that looked amazing, and I have every faith that she could do the same for anyone. She carries a wide variety, including some specialty designers. It's just a pleasant shopping experience and I recommend it to any bride-to-be, even if you aren't all that into the hunt (Exhibit A: me).

And so finally, I landed back in Connecticut where the lovely ladies at Delianne's doted on me and ordered my dress, now due in January. So here it is, my 7-point buck, Mon Cheri Victoria 25272:



Until next time, it's open season!